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Some Jokes

Some Jokes

Date: Mar 02 2013

Topic: Speaking

Author: dandouna

Lesson

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ? 
Husband : Nothing. 
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?? 
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date. 
********** 

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? 
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U 
Continue to do so. 

********** 

Wife : Do you want dinner? 

Husband : Sure, what are my choices? 
Wife : Yes and no. 

********** 
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? 

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your 
picture and the problem disappears. 

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? 

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can 
there be greater than this one?" 

********** 

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and 
lighten your burden. 

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. 

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. 

********** 

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. 

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. 

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. 

********** 

A newly 
married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father 
hadn't left me a fortune?" 

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT 
YOU A FORTUNE" 
********** 

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." 


Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." 
********** 

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?" 

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." 

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?" 

Millionaire: " Billionaire" 

********** 

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. 

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. hahahahaha 

**********

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