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My MESSY Blog

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MESS

MESS

Turkey

January 21, 2013

AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

More entries: A Letter to Life (32), Flirting with life! (10), Self-promises, What if...? (1), Goodbye, Iron Lady!, MESSY REFLECTIONS! :))) (13), Just some thoughts... (5), Are you A REASON, A SEASON or A LIFETIME? (6), A Very Good Read. Enjoy! :) (6), Once In Your Life... (6)

View all entries from My MESSY Blog >

09:40 AM Jan 25 2013

isynie_sansan
Indonesia

a Really fabulous note ^^b ..

03:08 AM Jan 22 2013

MESS

MESS
Turkey

Thank you for your nice comments, my precious friends, Elena, Ola, Moriza and Jo.

You bring your own sunshine to my profile every time. You are a good source of inspiration to me. Thank you! :)

01:17 PM Jan 21 2013

ghost.w0506
Germany

Very often, love is a lie

and we have a well known  book, written by a famous writer

LIebe ist nur ein Wort  love is just a word.

Very often it s true and one of the human, who had in their mind

he/she met real love, become disappointed.

But............ after all bad experiences

don t give up, in this world is someone waiting you, just for you. And this human will love you deeply and real. I know that by my own................. And now, I don t like to miss this feeling


11:28 AM Jan 21 2013

Moriza

Moriza
Ukraine

DEAR MESS,

I can,t convey how useful,informative,interesting,instructive and enjoyable was reading your story.The cycles of relationship are so true to life.And I agree that to keep love on drive or give it a second life requires a lot of efforts,patience and wisdom.Far not everyone can or wants to work on it.Of course,it,s more easier to fall in love again (it gives new feelings,new impressions,new experience),but with time,unfortunatly,it goes down again too.

So,as it,s faithfully said in your story "It,s up to you to decide..."

I truly appreciate your efforts for writing this text about the facts of life.It,s given me a new push to compare,analyse,weigh up and find out things that can be useful in working on me...

 I enjoyed it! Thanks a lot!!!

10:40 AM Jan 21 2013

ola33

ola33
Japan

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it

____

It works and is very successful for certain kind of people. But here, should be in the beginning "knowing what to do" as well. People's brain is usually the same before marriage or after.

For other kind of people love is uncoditional. No matter how many mistakes and tantrums you have had, you're still the most lovable and adoring person in the world because you have something else to worship you - it's your heart; here should be a person who will be able to see that..

And the third type is almost the same personality, perfect match. It's not because of moral values, but because of the same lifestyles, the same spirit, the same hobbies, the same recklessness... co called hippie. For them no planning as well, but they're like one being, always together, like glued to each other.

But the one you described is really a successful union, but you need to plan, use your brains, trick-or-treat things. It's also love..

08:54 AM Jan 21 2013

Eleniya

Eleniya
Russian Federation

Oh, love! How many stories about love are in the world? Millions and billions, I guess..

Nice story, Semiha :)

Have a good winter time.