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Forgiveness

Unreal Past Tense

Date: May 20 2011

Themes: Friend

Grammar: The Unreal Past

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Intro

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People say that you should turn the other cheek when someone wrongs you. But what if someone did something so mean you just couldn’t forgive them? Or what if the same person wronged you in the same way over and over? Sometimes, it’s just too hard to let go.

Everyone has different ideas about what’s forgivable, and what isn’t. Some couples are able to stay together even if one partner has an affair. Other relationships break up over very small problems. Find out if Devan and Ella find it easy or hard to forgive.

Dialog

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Ella

Devan

Ella: I have the hardest time forgiving people. I don’t know if it’s a pride issue, but I just hold a grudge for so long.

Devan: Really, you can’t let go of things really easily?

Ella: Not at all. I can’t turn the other cheek, especially if I feel like I got wronged. I feel like that person needs to be punished with me not being in their life.

Devan: See, I’m the exact opposite. Sometimes I feel like it takes more energy to hold a grudge than it does to just move on.

Ella: It’s so hard for me to let go. I feel like not forgiving someone really just proves a point.

Devan: So what would be an example of a situation that you just absolutely could not forgive someone for?

Ella: I give people three chances, so the first two times I forgive, but number three, regardless of what the situation is, I can’t. That’s like my number count.

Devan: Even if it’s something really petty?

Ella: Yeah.

Devan: What if, like, your friend had a crush on the same boy that you had a crush on, and she dated him?

Ella: It depends on who had the crush first.

Devan: Well, I’ll be careful to never cross you. I don’t want to be on your bad side.

Ella: Three chances.

Grammar Point

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Discussion

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Ella finds it hard to forgive people. She thinks that not forgiving someone who has wronged her is a good way to teach that person a lesson. She thinks it is especially hard to forgive someone who wrongs her more than once. She gives people three chances. After that, she won’t forgive them, no matter what they did.

Devan is the opposite. She usually forgives people. To her, it is more difficult to hold a grudge than to forgive someone. So she is pretty tolerant and forgiving.

Do you find it easy or hard to forgive people?

Comments

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nidal-jihad

Morocco

i think it is hard to forgive some one who wrongs you.somestimes i forgive poeple who wrongs me but i can not forget what they do

IlVA

Germany

“To make a mistake is human,but to forvige it is holly!!”

karina ortiz garcia

Colombia

fortunately i can let the things go easily. for many people it´s difficult turn the other cheek to those who have hurt them, but i think when u forgive you feel free and liberated¡

trailo_hathanh

Viet Nam

Oh, Ella, after this lesson, I found something that Whoever is smok’in hot will be mean and sefl-fish. Ella is one of them. :), (please forgive me):

Forgiving people sometime is not easy, Ella, you need to learn it. Do not hold a grudge or it will make you ugly, older soon.

Javier_LJ

Mexico

in psicology the best thing to be free of bad feelings, it’s move on the bad feeling if you are hold a grudge with someone! you should let go the bad feeling. forgive dosent mean that you have to support abuse, forgive is to be free of the bad thinkings, and feeling that don’t let you continue with your life in a normal form, because if you are thinking in the past and in the pas every day all year since two year ago o more, you are slave of you past and you can’t live a life quality.

patitto1977

Paraguay

I think the best thing to do is move on. Life is too short to hold a grudge…Is better to forgive but to a lot of person it´s too dificult do it.

Fernandinha

Brazil

Depends on what person did to me. I usually forgive, but I’m sure that the relationship won’t be the same.

malegal

China

I won’t forgive you folks for teaching us such a crock of shit

midnight_nightmare

Spain

just as everything in life, it depends on what he or she did to you. And in my particular case it’s easy for me to forgive a friend despite he or she having wrong me. It’s only a matter of time to forgive a friend. But i can’t forgive people that really did things in order to hurt me. Even thought they are friends, because, if a friend does really want to hurt me i don’t consider him a friend anymore.

thekingsa

Saudi Arabia

yes i like to forgive poeple

alisha928

Taiwan

wow

in my opinion

maybe she is a small-minded person anyway

my question is if she always hold a grudge all the time

how come she have friends ?

isabel139

Peru

This is not a easy question. It depends of the situation… Of course I already moved on, forgot what happened but I think after that the relations won’t be the same… There is just a person I really can’t forgive, she really wronged me and I will never forgive her :)) All the others whom hurted me… well it’s past :)))

nfrtary

Egypt

i can`t hold grudge , turn the other cheek easly and i can`t also let issue just move on.

i am like Ella i really can`t forguve persons ,ore than two times in the same situation but if he make the three mistake in other area no problem coz we are human beings and of course all of us made mistakes.

but three times mistakes in the same area noooo that`s mean he don`t respect me and don`t resbect the relation betwen us so why i should forgive him i just don`t hold grude and forget him and of course let him go far forever.

vool220

Saudi Arabia

forgive all poeple and if any persone wrongs more than once you can forgove him or not up tp you but dosnt make with him any relation in the future

MUHAMMAD92

Saudi Arabia

yes i like to forgive poeple.

daliaa1

Egypt

it is so easy for me to forgive people ,you can just smile ,then everything will be ok ,so easy

zljamanda

China

Forgive and forget; but sometimes, it depends. people would wish God will forgive, I cant.

meltemhk

Turkey

If this person is who I have to see everyday (for example commercial friend or class-mate) should forgive,otherwise life is really getting terrible or prefer going away.