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Choosing Sides
简体
Choosing Sides
选择立场

Zero Conditional

Date: Jan 17 2012

Themes: Friend, Romance

Grammar: Zero Conditional

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When two of your friends break up, it can be hard to remain close with both of them. Instead of hanging out with them as a couple, you have to find time to be with each of them separately. And if the break up was a painful one, you might have to listen to both sides complain about the other person.

Two of Amy’s good friends recently broke up. Will she be able to avoid choosing sides? Maybe Ella has some helpful advice.

当你的两个朋友关系破裂时,你很难与他们两个都保持亲密关系。你无法同时与两人结伴闲逛,取而代之的是要分别找时间和他们中的一人在一起。而且,如果他们因关系破裂而令人痛苦,你可能不得不听两人的互相抱怨。
最近,艾米的两个好朋友关系破裂了。她能避免选择立场吗?可能艾拉有一些有用的建议。

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Amy

Amy

Ella

Ella

Amy:  These two friends of mine who’ve been in a relationship for like four years just broke up, and now we feel…My husband and I, who’s also their friend, we kind of feel like we have to choose. And if we’re having a party or something, it’s sort of awkward to invite both, so, you know, which one do you invite? It’s really kinda tough.

Ella:  That is a difficult decision. Because you kinda want to be there for both if you’re equally close to them, and keep in touch. But, I don’t know, I always try to stay like Switzerland. I always want to be neutral in every situation. But sometimes that’s not possible, like at all.

Amy:  Definitely. And it’s hard not to sympathize the most with the one who got dumped, you know? The person who…Especially if it was, you know, over anything bad, like if one person behaved badly, it’s really hard not to take sides.

Ella:  Yeah, I always have to pick the side, even if I don’t agree, with the one that’s closer to me. Like if it’s a girlfriend, even though she cheated on her boyfriend, I’ll still have to side with her.

Amy:  Really?

Ella:  Yeah.

Amy:  I have to say, though, I’ve been on the other side, too, where I lost friends after breaking up with somebody. And it really sucks. It really hurt my feelings.

Ella:  Choosing sides. It’s never easy.

 

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Two of Amy’s friends recently broke up. Now she is having a hard time remaining close with both of them. She doesn’t want to choose sides, but trying to stay friends with both of them has created some awkward situations.

Ella says that when two of her friends break up, she tries to stay neutral and not choose sides. But if she was already closer to one member of the couple, she has to remain loyal to that person, even if they caused the break up by acting badly.

Amy says that it’s hard for her not to side with the person who got dumped, because she always feels bad for them. But she once lost friends after breaking up with someone, so she knows how hurtful that can be.

Have you ever had to choose sides because two of your friends broke up?

 

意見

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Olivine

Olivine

Indonesia

choosing sides is not really hard, you just have to hear your heart, open the eyes and decide. The most hardest thing is to stay neutral when many complains come to your ears. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid incitement as a human. The couple or friends do not care about their neutral friend who is standing in the middle. Hatred makes human more busy than they should be

08:15 AM Apr 14 2013 |

AlexisSilva

Mexico

oh I’ve been in that situation too and I tell you that’s so pitiful because you could lose one of your friends even both if you do something wrong to them, they might get upset if you side with them at the same time.

when i was in that kind of situation, i didn’t lose my friends at all, but i’ve broken away from them through the years.

06:46 PM Jan 19 2012 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

kukuka,,   Maybe it wasn´t about you, probably he didn´t want to  run the risk  of meeting his ex again. 

11:27 AM Jan 19 2012 |

kukuka

kukuka

Ukraine

Well, I can only remeber one such case. Let’s say my female friend had a boyfriend and they seemed to be very serious about what’s happening between them. They came to my place and congratulated me with birthdays and we also used to hang out together and then I got to know that they had broken up. That wasn’t a problem for me and I didn’t bothered about it but oncve I met the guy in a bus (public transportation) and i told him “Listen, why don’t you drop in sometime?” he said “You must be kiddig”. Then he said bye and got off the bus. I was confused I have to admit.

11:22 AM Jan 19 2012 |

TranceSoul

TranceSoul

Poland

I have never been In that situation and I hope not to be!! I always try to judge everyone or every situation fairly. Even if I knew  that one of my friends was guilty I would never turn away from him. I would like to help a both sides and I would try to keep In touch with them. However I think we always take somebody’s side even if we don’t admit this.

09:14 PM Jan 18 2012 |

whipiry

whipiry

South Korea

not like a blind date, like in a matchmaking, some couple can break up. if it happend, such as one guy cheats on the other part, they might break up.


it’s sucks…. matchmaker could be in a big trouble when he or she can keep in touch with one of them. For me, I don’t wanna be involved in that situation.


choosing side to support or tell the other’s stand. it’s bad. I don’t want .


however, I can be there for them If they want to make up again.

04:16 AM Jan 18 2012 |

emi0808

emi0808

Philippines

@ nfrtary   you know girl if your bf left you, its just because he doesn’t love you that much! You have to realize that. if he trully loves you he will stick with you no matter what for good times and bad times he will stay at your side and no matter what the problem is he will work it out with you because he doesn’t want to loose you.  You are beautiful I know one day you will find the right guy for you and true love. have faith! stay pretty! :)

02:39 AM Jan 18 2012 |

catherineduron

Honduras

fortunately, never ever…but if i will have to be in one situation like that, i will try to be neutral and dont choose sides

01:31 AM Jan 18 2012 |

i love life

Palestinian Territory, Occupied

It.s Really difficult  decision if you want to choose between two things .


unfortunately when we suffer from some problems we became very badly with each other specially if this topic related in the love or emotional sides .


I guess the most thing important in any relationship is the love and respect .


as the same time we should respect our selves I am not sure if the man will prefer money more than the woman I am not sure if we will prefer the sexual relationship more than the love .


sometimes we forget we are human being no one could be able a good person all the time from the other hand does not have  woman could be able beautiful forever .


the life has became change I think now the love depending on the benefits this is the truth if I want anything from someone I will do all thing in myself In order to achieve my desires we couldnt compare our the last life with our present life .


for me I did not had to say my feeling I had a nice time with a woman Really she was with me very passionate  she is not a muslim she is from foreign  country. 



The love is bring us   all people over the world bring a woman  christian with a man  muslim   the truth say no racism no religion in the love .


we should thank God for created us as the same time the love is living in our hearts .

10:18 PM Jan 17 2012 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

Gobsmacker,   though you are so young , you are  mature when it comes to take the right decision . Your friends were extremely selfish  and didn´t deserve your  friendship. As you say: it was an eye-opener.

08:48 PM Jan 17 2012 |

Gobsmacker

Germany

Well, that’s a very common thing. People have wanted me to choose sides very often in life and I never want to hurt anybody, stay objective and try to solve the problem. But often this goes wrong…For example my two best friends got into a huge argument about a guy and told me I had to choose who to stick with. So I said: ‘No I’m not going to. I like you both the same and I just want us all to be friends again.’ Which led to them quitting their friendship with me and us all going seperate ways. (Now they are BFFs again) At the time it really hurt but I realized that friends who want you to take sides aren’t real friends. So in the end I was kind of glad that this opened my eyes. I think it’s best to show them that it’s up to them what they do and how they decide because it’s their problem not yours and you shouldn’t interfere too much. As a friend they will accept and respect your decision. Although giving a bit of advice isn’t a bad thing either thinking about it. Anyway I strongly advise you never to choose sides because it can break the strongest of bonds.

08:39 PM Jan 17 2012 |

Ank Arya

Ank Arya

India

Short and simple answer:
‘Either I am with both, or I am with both’ :D ;)

08:27 PM Jan 17 2012 |

Ank Arya

Ank Arya

India

...

08:25 PM Jan 17 2012 |

devilrock

devilrock

Morocco

it happens a lot but i always try to solve the probleme between them ,so i won’t have to hang out with each of them separately ,but i never shoose a side…:)

08:13 PM Jan 17 2012 |

aziz al kun

United Arab Emirates

yes its not easy but the best way is to be neutral even if your best friends or the best one for you was wrong you have to say the truth

08:09 PM Jan 17 2012 |

2 people like this

Zaccarias

Zaccarias

Brazil

Adam Clarke said:


“A person who has many friends must show himself friendly – Love begets love; and love requires love as its recompense. If a man does not maintain a friendly carriage, he cannot expect to retain his friends. Friendship is a good plant; but it requires cultivation to make it grow.


There is a kind of factitious friendship in the world, that, to show one’s self friendly in it is very expensive, and in every way utterly unprofitable: it is maintained by expensive parties. feasts, etc.


There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother – In many cases the genuine friend has shown more attachment, and rendered greater benefits, than the natural brother. “(Adapted)


The Bible says:


A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (proverbs 17:17)


How blessed are those who make peace, because it is they who will be called God’s children! (Matthew 5:9).


 


Basically we need to understand three words and put them in practices:


Repentance, when we are wrong.


Forgiveness, because we also sinned.


Love, in both cases.


 


But the bible also says:” Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3).


 


But we should always look for the peace and reconciliation.


 


May God bless you all.

05:39 PM Jan 17 2012 |

ola33

ola33

Japan

Well, to choose or not to choose? :) For me, it was opposite, when my best friend got married and automatically our happy trips together ended. On one side, I was really happy for my friend, on the other, how come I’m off the board. But i didn’t wish them to break up :). And i take sides. I can’t stand bullying, unjustness and all those mean things. If that happens, I side the victim and also girls, as well, in every relationship, if it doesn’t go over the top, like Buttafly mentioned, but I agree with mnal_F that they’re sensitive and vulnarable. They’re weaker than men physically first of all. So i side them.

05:13 PM Jan 17 2012 |

fruttinka

fruttinka

Lithuania

Once, two of my best friends broke up after more than 1 year of relantionship and I really appreciate the fact, that they thought about me and other close friends -they talked and decided to stay friends … :)

03:08 PM Jan 17 2012 |

snoopyboy

snoopyboy

Antarctica

The friend of my friend doesn’t necessarily mean he’s my friend. My friend’s foe doesn’t necessarily mean he’s my enemy. I’m neutral all the way. Any friendship I develop with anyone has to be generated from a one-on-one mutual relationship. What I mean is, in order for me to have a fall out with anyone the issue has to be strictly personal. Rumors and he’s behavior towards someone else are not enough for me to cut him off, however It might be ground for me to evaluate our friendship. So what would I do in a case where two of my friends had broke up? :)


First off before taking any side, if at all, I’ll need to weigh in both sides of the story and determine who’s at fault. I’m definitely against a cheater, any culprit of unfaithfulness or physical abuse. But I’ would be  less likely to take any side if the nature of the issue is about misunderstanding, or if they lost interest in one another, or if they reciprocally decided that they’d  be better off separated.


Tip: if you have two friends who are couple for a relatively long time, and they only need your opinions when things are shaky between them, you know better to stay out of it. Don’t be too keen take a stance.


(:

02:19 PM Jan 17 2012 |

julian sirai

Malaysia

hi…

02:15 PM Jan 17 2012 |

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